Thanks, Sarah, for suggesting grosgrain ribbon. My sweater no longer falls off of my shoulders, and I was even able to move the button closer to the button band, where it belonged.
I machine-sewed the ribbon on. Maybe not the best idea? It doesn’t sit quite right. Still, it’s way better than it was. While this may never be my go-to sweater, at least it’s no longer my run-from sweater!
The boys and I (and our filthy bathroom mirror) wish you a goofy, fun-filled weekend ahead!